Archive for April, 2011


Over Lent we abstain.  Mostly we abstain on certain days from meat,  and on all 40 days we abstain from alcohol.  This worked for us over the past.  But I didnt realise how much I came to depend on my nightly glass of wine to unwind a bit after the kids are in bed.

Being a stay at home mom, Im on call all day everyday and it can get on my nerves.  By the time Nic gets home I am ready to run screaming out of the house, sometimes.  So the glass of wine at the end of the day is a nice way to unwind, chill and relax before calling it a day in anticipation of repeating it all the next day.

During Lent, my nerves were running raw- for the first couple weeks.  I desperately wanted that one glass of wine.  You’d think over time that I would get used to not having it anymore and just go on, but just the opposite happened.  I started dreaming of wine, on the vines, in barrels, in casks, in a glass, in those trendy glasses with no stems, swishing and swirling, a deep red, singing ‘Red red wine’ …

At one time I caught myself singing the song to my kids, that I actually knew all the words was amazing, but what was more amazing was that I was singing it with feeling- I missed her, her being the wine!  It was sad, sad times.  The need for wine came and went in phases depending on how difficult the kids were.  During the last week, sadly, the thought of being able to drink again was what kept me going when I felt like running screaming from the house.

On Easter, it also being Nic’s birthday, we finally had a drink at 10 am, both of us.  It felt good.  But it was anti climactic as well.  I was expecting bells to go off, loud gongs to depict a celebration, a symphony reaching its peak- but there was none of that.  The wine was good, but not as good as I thought it would be.

Dont get me wrong, Im still going to have the glass of wine atleast 4 nights a week , but I probably wont be singing ‘Red red wine’ with so much feeling next time.  Pity that, I know the kids and husband enjoyed the rendition!


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Why is God dying

Jeez almighty.  With Good Friday and Easter this past weekend the number of questions and contemplations we had was a tad more than normal.  First we had to deal with the concept of death which thankfully we’ve never had to deal with as yet, and hopefully dont have to deal with for a long time.  And where people go when they die.  Following this we had to discuss Jesus’ dying and going to heaven and how he is God and he died for our sins; its a very alien concept to explain to a child [or any non christian, I suppose] …

And then we had Easter.  We try, try very hard not to make Christmas and Easter about what’s in it for us, as in what JM is getting, but unfortunately that is what it turns into, and we’re not going to beat ourselves up over it- they’re young yet.  Easter is very much about the Easter Bunny and egg hunts and chocolate overdose.  We thought we’d use the Easter Bunny as a way to get JM to be quiet at the Easter Vigil, so somewhere in the church, the Easter Bunny was watching JM to make sure he was quiet, or else there would be no egg hunt!  All throughout mass, JM was scanning the church for rabbit ears.   We knew we had gone too far with the bunny concept when after hours of church JM finally got tired and asked, “When is it going to be Easter Bunny day?!”

We tried to explain the concept of Jesus rising from the dead but it was a no go, not with the thought of chocolate to be had.

So between Good Friday and Easter Bunny day, we’re atleast halfway on the religious concept, next year we’ll try again.

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Hey Mickey D

McDonalds might not have the greatest food in the world.  They might be selling fries that never decompose and they might be selling nuggets made with parts of the chicken that we dont want to acknowledge that we’re eating.  McDonalds might be the anti christ but we will continue to worship at the altar of fast, fried, greasy, mutant crap  … because they have a great marketing strategy.

We have tried Burger King and we have tried other mom n’ pop eateries for a place where Nic and I can hang out, chill and talk to each other while JM can go cavort and play.   In the summer, the park becomes the regular option for this, but in the spring, winter and fall [ie 3/4th of the year] the park is not an option and we need alternatives to a Friday evening chill.

McDonalds, no matter which one you go to has a grand playplace.  Grand.  Other places, including Burger King- dont.  Other places focus more of their money and attention on the food, the decor, the seating, etc.  But McDonalds focuses alot of their money and attention on the playplace and it shows.  The playplaces are full slides and jungle gyms and computer games and friends that no kid wants to leave once they get there!

It is so easy to have JM finish his dinner of cardboard nuggets and mutant fries and then have him play for 2 hours while Nic and I can sit, share a soda and talk with minimal interuptions- that very often, it is the go-to solution on Fridays.  I dont want to think about what Im pumping into his system with the cholestrol and sodium and whatnot that’s found in McD food, but for once a week, I’m not going to beat myself up over it.  We eat enough of the green and healthy non processed food the rest of the week to make up for it.

What I wish for, and what doesnt seem like is going to happen anytime soon, is for a  place like Tim Hortons to create a playplace.  Where we can go enjoy a coffee, feed JM some dinner and have him play for a couple hours.  Any of the regular food eateries or even A&W or Wendy’s for fast food which is much tastier that McD’s, to have grand playplaces where JM would want to go play and we can have healthier meal options that McD’s.

But I wont hold my breath for it.

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Kids. Toys. Bye. [Toys, not kids]

There is a direct correlation between the age of your bebe and the size of the toy they play with.  The younger the child, the larger the toys that they play with, the older they get, the smaller their toys get.  The activity mats, the jumpers and exersaucers, the crawlers, the kitchenette or tool bench, all large toys that take up alot of floor space.  The older kids on the other hand have the PSP, the Ninetendo DS, the legos, the cars, etc, all smaller toys and easier to manage.

All JM’s toys, as he outgrew them were packed away and kept for the spare.  All contributed to lots and lots of storage space required.  And it drove me nuts.  To the point where we could not hold off and have our second kiddo.  So, in effect, we had Aria just to start clearing the clutter [not really, because really, who does things like that?! Not me, thats who!]

So when she got to the playing stage out came the exersaucers, jumpers, etc, etc … and once again we had to find our way around all these toys.  As she out grows them- by the day, I’ve been putting these items on Kijiji and yahoo groups and I cannot begin to describe the joy it brings me as each toy leaves the house!  I like seeing the space in the garage and in all the closets, I like seeing the space in our living room as the toy leaves our home!  I like it alot.

And we know the toy is going to a good home where its going to get played with and not end up in a dusty attic or left somewhere to collect dust – which was important to JM who is a fan of Toy Story 1, 2 & 3.

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Rain reign

A while ago, Nic and I thought long and hard about moving.  About picking up bag, baggage [and more bags and more baggage] and starting our lives afresh.  In the wilds of British Columbia.  Ok, not so much wilds, more around established cities because Im just not good with animals.  We figured we were young, our kids were young, they’d bounce wherever we set them down, everything would be good.

And then- someone we know [not family or friend, or even acquaintance, just someone who crosses our horizon ever so rarely] told us that the suicide rate in British Columbia is high.  Its the furthest point on the west coast, there is no where else to run to from there and it rains all the time making you want to jump off the very beautiful cliffs that surround the place [apparently].  He told us this very matter-of-factly and we very matter-of-factly told him back that we were not running away from anything [we were kinda, but thats another story] and we were not the type to just off ourselves because of a bit of rain.  He accepted that and waltzed off into the sunset.

Things happened.  Things didnt work out.  We did not pick up our lives and move to British Columbia. Seasons changed.

This spring has been one for rain, it has been raining for as long as I can remember, the weather is damp, the roads are damp, the walls smell mildewy, the worms are up and about and stinking up the place, its grimy and Im just not happy.

In fact, Im about ready to off myself.

Im sure we’d never be able to adjust to the weather in BC, we’re barely civil to each other when we have to shovel snow.  Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if we had moved, but most of the time, especially on days like this- Im glad we didnt. Stupid rain.

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